Duck sex is so wrong

Some bawdy, scientifically accurate limericks about duck sex. Dedicated to Patricia Brennan, duck sex and penis researcher from University of Massachusetts…

 

Give thanks for the birth of Duck minor
Mother duck has a corkscrew vagina
But daddy’s erection
curls in the other direction
Proof God’s no intelligent designer

 

Duck love-making’s no simple deed
what’s more, god has decreed
that the knob of this stud
will drop off in the mud
as soon as he’s planted his seed

 

If you think this seems a sad song
the drake will regrow his dong
this new percy, I’ve heard
measures a third of the bird
a behemoth that’s 8 inches long!

 

Things then get wronger and wronger
Sir Drake scares his mates with his donger
If he thinks he’s the king
it shows up in his thing
which grows to be 20% longer

 

So you think your love life’s out of luck
Be thankful you are not a duck.
your bits stay attached
and your organs are matched
when you’re both in the mood for a ….. cuddle.

Inspired by a hilarious discussion about duck sex at the Catweazle Club performance space in Oxford, UK.

If you love science poetry check out the Poet’s Guide to Science .

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